Basically - my friend got engaged a year or so ago and asked me to be her maid of honor. She lives a few states over and we don’t see each other often so I hadn’t met her boyfriend/fiancé. The wedding is in a month and a couple of weeks ago I just googled him out of curiosity only to find that he’s a registered sex offender. He went to prison for child pornography (10+ counts).

Now I don’t want to be a part of the wedding because I don’t support it. But I don’t know how to back out. Am I over reacting?

****edited to add: the bride DOES know that he is a sex offender. He told her he didn’t do it and she believes him.

*****edited again to add: some wonderful internet sleuth on Reddit sent me all of the court docs and they’re worse than anything I could’ve imagined. I told the bride I wasn’t coming and why. I did not get a response.

Background: I (38M) have been with my girlfriend (28F) Maggie for about 4 years. We are both polyamorous and she's lived with her ex. Kyle, for a few years. This has never been a problem and it will not be a problem moving forward. My GF also lived with her sister, Page, and another roommate. Over the last couple of years we have also started forming a tight knit friend group. First it was Maggie, Page and I then we added another friend Deb, and finally we added Kyle. Overall it has been great. We go on road trips together, we meet up at my apartment twice a week for D&D and we go to the bar religiously on Friday’s to play D&D. A few months ago, Page and the extra roommate moved out, leaving Maggie with two spare rooms. Maggie asked if I wanted to move in and I enthusiastically said yes. Maggie just needed to ask Kyle if that was okay. I was very excited but Kyle vetoed me moving in stating that I had too many pets. I was disappointed but I didn’t think much of it. Everything continued fine for the last few months until this weekend.

The issue: This weekend Deb moved in with Maggie and Kyle. I was devastated. To me it felt like all my friends had moved in together without me. It also hurt because Deb has more pets than I do and Kyle didn’t seem to mind this. It all feels like it was a way to shut me out. My GF assures me that I’m not being left out but it’s really hard for me to believe. I’ve still been seeing my GF but I know I can’t spend time with Kyle or Deb. I know Deb didn’t do anything wrong but my feelings are hurt and I can’t see her right now, I’m sure that will change with time. Kyle, on the other hand, I don’t think I can forgive him. In my mind if he doesn’t want me in his house, then he’s not welcome in mine.

Like I said this group spends a lot of time together but I don’t feel welcomed in the group anymore so my immediate reaction is to step away from the group. I am the DM for the group so this does mean that a couple of campaigns are just going to stop. I also don’t think I will ever go back to my GF house as long as Kyle lives there. My GF wants me to talk to the group so they can show me that I’m not getting pushed out but to me this seems too little too late. I’m already hurt and I don’t want to open myself up to be hurt again.

Am I overreacting?

I (25F, 26 tomorrow) was having a small birthday party of roughly 12 people. My best friend of 13 years (25F) invited her new boyfriend (25M) of 6 months. After singing happy birthday and handing cake out to everyone, 25M says “the cake is shit,” to which I politely ask “is it? since I made it myself a few (2-3) days ago, maybe it is slightly old?” 25M then announces “yeah it’s terrible,” To which my other friends say, “nah he’s joking it’s great.” 25M double downs and says “no it’s terrible” and loudly and dramatically throws his slice of the cake into the bin in front of everyone.

I asked other people afterwards for their honest opinion of the cake and people mentioned they liked it. Although as this person is my best friend from 13 years I trust her choice in partners and maybe what he says too?

Am I overreacting for being upset about him saying and doing all that in front of my friends on my birthday about the cake I made, or was he just being honest and should I trust my best friends judgement in partners?

*side note later on, out of no where announces: “who wants to do drugs or is it one of those parties?”

EDIT: I edited the slightly post for clarity - he threw his slice into the bin, not the whole cake. However, he did it loudly and dramatically in front of everyone. He also wasn’t drunk (or high). My best friend also did not defend me or apologise. In fact, I said “I can’t tell whether or not you’re joking” and she replied, “He’s not joking. He doesn’t joke about things like this. He’s being serious.” Neither of them said anything to me about it before they left.

My boyfriend texted me about an hour after work telling me he was gonna drive around to clear his mind. He ended up going to some apartment complex and was there for an hour and a half ish, didn’t really update me on what was going on so i left it alone and let him do his thing even though i was kind of suspicious. When he finally got home he told me he went to these apartments because his female coworker had invited him to come with and he didn’t want to tell me because he thought i’d overreact. So now i’m wondering if i’m overreacting about being upset with him lying about what he was doing. He also swore he wasn’t cheating, that was one of the first things he said before i even got to respond. Idc if he has female friends it’s more so he lied about not only what he was doing, but who he was with. Kind of tested my trust with that, now all i’m thinking about is what else has he stretched the truth on and hasn’t come clean to me about. Another reason why it bothers me is because i’ve asked him to go on tours with me and he’s refused, so why is he so willing to go on one with some coworker he hardly knows ? Aio

Edit; now he’s telling me i hover over him and he doesn’t want my location bc he never looks at it anyway. he swears on his kids he didn’t touch her and he doesn’t blame me for reacting the way i am. I’m so conflicted, i want to believe him because i love him but i also have so many doubts now, i told him my trust in him has been broken. it’s such a stupid lie it just doesn’t make any sense to me

So my long distance girlfriend and I have been dating for three years now, last night I came home from work And decided to start setting up a trip to see her. After I told her however, she said she did something and to just break up with her. I got her to tell me and apparently this guy who I had been worried about and even expressed to her was hitting on her and during a video call she showed him her bra. She was pressured, but that doesn't mean she didn't have other options. I really love her, but she kept this from me for almost a month. The only thing that gets to her is if I'm mad, and I even had to yell at her last night to make her not just block me and run away. I don't wanna throw away these three years but I'm also at a loss on what to do, I don't know if I can fully forgive her.

Update: So I got in contact with the guy, he was super understanding and told me that it happened about a month ago, it was during a time we were apparently fighting. We don't fight often, and usually when we do it's because she's having a trauma response and trying to block everyone in her life out. I don't know if her wanting to break up was another trauma response or not. Also within the video call apparently right after showing the guy she ended up letting him know that me and her were still a thing, so he didn't know. She then felt bad about it and he even said he consoled her for a few days after that because she felt guilty. But wouldn't that mean she should have told me instead of keeping it hidden

I have a wife thar I've been with for over 10 years and married for 3. We have a 10 month old son now. I recently met a guy who turned out to have a lot of common interests with me. Both into finance, fitness and stuff. We started hanging out more and more and work out together weekly in my home gym garage. Obviously we are spending time together and we shoot the shit often. His situation is that he's single, a father of a 7 year old girl and his ex is a super bitch to him. She publicly talks down to him the few times we all went out to dinner together. He still has to see her because they are co-parenting but he's been trying to date for the past year.

Anyway, we got on the topic of what he's looking for in a girl because he keeps on going on dates and they all suck according to him and none of the girls are his type. So I ask what his type is and he starts describing the traits of my wife. Could be a coincidence. Wheneve we go to dinner he'll be telling a story or whatever and show a picture on his phone but only to my wife, I have to ask him to see what the picture is before he puts it away. Not that I care that much but feels sus. Whatever. We've been hanging out more and having game night at my place with him and a few other friends. Whenever he's in the presence of my wife he takes my son and puts him on his shoulders and plays with him in front of her. Makes weird comments (at least I think so) in front of my wife like, "I love being a father and providing for a family." "I wish I had a wife that was as good as raising kids as you" "Let me know if I can help you in any way with your son". Always directed to my wife and never me. Ok, whatever.

The thing is, these comments have been setting off eye raises for me so when I was working out with him the other day I said, do you think my wife is attractive? He said, oh hell yea dude. Your wife is hot. I said thanks but it raised my antenna even more. Now the reason I'm writing this is because his most recent comment to ME was "do you think your wife can find a girl for me at her workout class that looks like her?"

This coupled with what happened the other day at dinner. We were going to dinner with him and his family that were in town. It was at a big shopping center so we were waiting at a starbucks for them to arrive at the restaurant. He comes to the starbucks where we are while his family is at the restaurant, he waves and says we are ready. I start packing my sons bag while my wife handles the stroller. This dude grabs my son and puts him on his shoulders and starts walking out. My wife is walking out and I'm grabbing the bag. Now I'm literally watching this guy walk next to my wife holding my child while shes pushing the stroller and I'm trailing them. I felt I was watching a couple and their child and I was seething and feeling displaced.

AIO? Because I'm cutting this asshole off. Not letting him anywhere near my wife and kid again. If we happen to see him in a social setting of 6 or less, we are leaving.

Edit: Asked my wife if he ever texted her or contacted her in any way on SM or TXT. She said no. I told her just now I feel he's peacocking and she said she doesn't get that vibe at all from him.

Edit Edit: A female friend came over tonight who mutually knows this guy. She agreed that it's strange and thinks he is crushing on my wife, intentionally or not and told my wife to her face that. I told my wife that if another female can see it, it's obvious. My wife now says she feels embarrassed that she doesn't see it and says it'll be awkward now because she doesn't want to think of him looking at her that way. Both her and the friend think it's best if we only see him in social settings with large groups and not at our house again.

Lesson: Seems the general consensus is to trust my gut if I feel something is off and it does. Going to talk to the wife and then tell this dude straight and then ghost him.

So my girlfriend text me that she was going out to lunch with a group of friends to celebrate two interns finishing their internship this Friday. I said cool and have fun. They work in downtown Denver where there are hundreds of restaurants and bars to walk to from work but they decided to go to a restaurant like 40minutes away from work so they drive to the restaurant. Thirty minutes pass and I get a call from a friend, she says, hey i just saw your girl eating lunch with some older guy. I replied back and told her oh yeah, she’s out with some coworkers. Then my friend is like no, it’s just her and some guy. So I start to text my girlfriend asking her how is lunching going and who all went and she tells me well the two interns and like four other people. I was like are you sure and she said yes why? I tell her that I just got a call from a friend and described her and her guy g Friend and that it’s only them two. She tries to backtrack and says oh yeah the other people ditched us. I told her stop lying! You and this other guy were the only ones going out to eat from the beginning and you made up the whole story as a cover up. Then she tried to blame me and say that she didn’t believe that a friend of mine called me to let me know and that I was following her and I was a creeper and a liar. I was like please, you got caught and now you are trying to blame me for it and no I didn’t not followed you so stop with the lying.

My specific Question: I feel like my girl is either cheating on me or she was just too scared to tell me that she was going out to lunch with a male coworker. What do you think I should do? Btw, we have been together for 7 years and have a 4 year old daughter. Why did she have to lie about it and then try to blame me for it?

Here is a follow up:

Thank you for all the support. It really helps reading all the feedback. So I can honestly say that when we first met, I wasn't ready for a relationship. I had been single for 3 years and I was having fun but on the other hand my GF had been single over a month before we got together. In her own words, she felt in love with me the first time she saw me. The first years, were very good. Even though I didn’t want to be in a relationship , I still respected my GF and treated her with respect. There were a few times that I wanted to end the relationship because my GF was very insecure, jealous. I couldn’t talk to any girls at work or anywhere bc she would think that I was trying to cheat. I couldn’t even eat lunch with one my friends from work bc some of his friends which were girls would stop by and talk to us and once again my GF would get jealous and think I was cheating. I do have to admit that my GF was the glue to our relationship bc anytime I wanted to break up, she was stubborn and would not give up on us. She would do all kind of nice things for me. She even bought a boxer puppy which she found out it was my favorite breed. Later on I found out she bought the puppy so that we could stay together. I never thought that my GF would cheat on me or even think of doing something like that. She was so in love with me that I didn’t even have to try. All 7 years together, I thought we were good until 2024, she had just got promoted and was making more money than I was. Things started to change. She started drinking which she has never had a drink with me. She started smoking week every single day. It didn’t bother me since I too would do it once in a while but then she would go out with one of her girlfriends that also smoke weed. They would go out every Friday from 8pm to midnight smoking weed at the park. I felt like she was acting better than I was. That she really didn’t need me at all. She started going out with her friends even though the first 6 years she would not go out a single time with her friends at all bc she rather stay home and chill. I also stayed home bc I felt bad that she wouldn’t go out with her friends so I didn’t think it was fair for me to do so. 2024, the beginning of January is when she told me that she wasn’t happy in the relationship but that she wanted to work things out. She wanted me to help out more with our baby. Stop watching sports or tv and spend more time with her and the baby. I thought I was doing enough but I guess I was wrong. I cut the cable, I started hanging out with them more and taking our daughter to the park. I cleaned the house while she cooked. I even did our daughter’s laundry. While i was doing all these new things and trying to make our relationship better, I found out that she was texting a coworker every single day from Monday through Friday from 730am when she would start work to 330pm when she would get off work. This started in the Middle of January until April 12, 2024. The only reason I found out about it in March 2024, was bc we had an argument March 23. Before the big argument, on March 20. I was helping her with a work project that she had to do a presentation on. I helped her a few times and on the 20th of March, she asked me again to help her late at night and I was like no, I’m tired and going to bed besides we have practice so many times and I believe you are ready for it. I saw her get upset and annoyed so I decided to help her out but she was still mad at me. Then on the next day, March 21st she didn’t communicate with me that she was going to go out with her friends and that I had to watch our baby. I wasn’t mad that she was going out, I was more upset that she had not giving me a heads up. Then on the 22nd of March, she decided at the last minute she was going to hangout with one of her friends and her kids. She asked me if I wanted to go out with them but I said no bc it was only going to be her friend and two kids and her friend’s mom and my GF and our daughter. So I stayed home and chilled. I later found out that she was mad bc I didn’t go with them. I told her the reason I didn’t go was bc I was going to be the only male and it would be best if it was just them. March 23, during the middle of day, she started saying some things which I thought were very disrespectful to me. I called her out on it and she just blew up and told me that she was just done with our relationship, she was fed up with me not really helping out, supporting her career or not hanging out with her friends and not being the cuddling type. I was so upset that I even said fine, we are done. We really didn’t talk or hangout the rest of the weekend. On Monday, I went to get our mail and I opened up our Verizon statement and that is when I discovered that she had been texting a. Coworker for a few months. I told her that she was having an emotional affair but she denied it. It was someone in her team that was a little bit in a higher position than her. He lives out in the East Coast with his wife and two kids. I wasn’t really worried about it bc he lived out in east coast while we were in Denver Colorado but I was worried about how many times they were texting each other. It reminded me when we first got together and were texting each other every day like we were in high school all over again. She kept telling my that it wasn’t an emotional affair and that all they talked about was about work, his kids and the things he would like to do after work and sports which she never talked to me about. I told her that I really didn’t feel comfortable with the situation. I understood that they worked in the same team and that they would talk. I told her that I was ok with it as long as they didn’t talk about personal things. She promised that she would stop talking to him or texting and that she would keep the conversation professional and just work related. Two weeks had passed and once again I discovered that she had been talking to him about personal things and I was just like im done. I have lost trust in you. She apologized and once again promised that this would not happen again. Ever since I lost trust in her, I started to question her like how come you don’t text me back right away like you used to or how come you changed your work schedule or why does it take you longer to get tow work when it usually would take us like anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes. She got fed up very quickly with me asking her those type of questions so I promised that I would stop and I did but I still did not trust her 100%. She had always been good at communicating with me like telling me when she was going to the gym to workout, or when she was going to go tanning or tell me when she was about to leave work and head home. All that stopped and there was no communication. It was hard for me at first but I adjusted to the new changes. I stopped worrying about things and just went back to my old self where I really didn’t care what would happened in our relationship. I had faith in god, if this relationship was going to work then it will and if not then god has other plans for me. Then in July she and this other coworker who actually worked in the same building and same floor as her started talking. She had told me about him. How he was a manager and that he was in the department where she wanted to make her next career move to. She also told me that he was the only manager that would talk to everyone and respected everyone. That he didn’t have a big ego just bc he was an upper manager. So on July 18th while she was at work and warming up her lunch, she bumped into the new guy, the Manager. They somehow had a conversation about amici’s restaurant and that maybe they should go out to lunch there someday. So they made plans to go out to Amici’s the following week July 26 but things didn’t workout bc my GF’s sister came to visit so she took some time off and had to cancel her lunch with the Manager. Then the following week after she was back in the office she and the Manager set up a new date and it would be in August 6. She never communicated with me about going out to lunch with this Manager that worked in the same floor but she did tell me about how she and a few of her friends were going to meet up for dinner on August 2nd. So on August 6, she calls me to let me know that if it would be ok if she went out to lunch during work with a few friends bc there were two interns finishing their internship so they were going to celebrate. Now you know what happened next.

UPDATE:

UPDATE: Sorry - I'm extremely fatigued In more ways than one. And I still have to keep my home clean and take care of the dog.

1. He did not volunteer. I flat out asked. His disregard for me was making it pretty obvious.

2. Says he didn't want to tell me before, because "it would hurt my feelings".

3. Live in CA. Inherited property is exempt from community property - unless you convert it. I didn't. This has always been my home.

4. I have an iron estate plan. I may be poor, but I own a home.

5. Very sorry to disappoint, but I have no alt profile. Snoop away.

6. I posted here to clarify my thoughts. They're crystal clear now.

7. Some days, I feel 25 again (ok, maybe late 30s), and I have all the energy I need. Those days are shrinking.

8. He is definitely regretting telling me. One of the second things he said: I knew you'd act like this, so.I shouldn't have told you. My "acting like this" was: then you need to move out. Totally irrational- I know. (Sarcasm).

9. I stopped caring about the seizures when I realized I had worse problems on my hands. So I do see a neurologist, but he agrees, tumors first.

10. He was never set to inherit. I told him to take a burial policy out, and he could pay the bill, and collect.

That's all I've got, minus the word for word convos. There was no shrieking in outrage, no screaming, and I cried when I was alone.

I told him I had a few things to say. It was an AH thing, and he should have told me in the beginning. That I was embarrassed and hurt. That he took something from me that I'll never get back. And then I said I'd be fine. I didn't need his pity or pretend-care. And please leave me alone now - I had nothing left to sat, other than "find a new place to live".

Idk how much time I have left. Maybe a couple of years, maybe a couple of months. But based on how generally lousy I feel, the headaches, the pain in my throat (location of tumors), the hard nodes in my armpits, this fatigue, I think I'm going to guess that I won't see 65. Or 55, for that matter.

ORIGINAL POST: So my husband of four years, together for 7, says he has fallen out of love with me. Months, maybe a year ago.

However, he still "cares" about me, and wants to stay in MY inherited home, to take care of me, because I have cancer. Pre-diagnosis, no biopsy yet - but it doesn't look good.

I told him he's a schmuck, a jerk for even pretending to love me.

He swears that I'm still pretty, intelligent, funny, etc - but angry. Yes, I'm angry. He sits on his phone in his spare time playing games. He's 45. I'm 50. I took his mother in, when his brother threw her out. I supported his niece, when no one else bothered (got a guardianship).

I want his lying butt out of my home. He says he doesn't have a car - he has a bicycle.

I do not feel I'm unreasonable.

I can't help I got older - but he could have been honest.

An awkward convoy, for sure. But lying to me for a year?

His butt needs to go. He thinks he should stay, and we keep on the way we have been.

Is he crazy, or am I unreasonable?

I [29F] moved to Boston for a new job 2 years ago and became close friends with my coworkers John [35M] and Siobhan [30F]. Siobhan and John were not close, but I built friendships with both of them individually, and when they started hanging out, I was excited for all of us to start hanging out as a group. I knew that John had a crush on Siobhan, but she was married at the time, we worked together (she was senior leadership) and, I knew she wasn't into John like that.

Then, back in March 2023, Siobhan ends up separating from her husband (which she should cuz he was an asshole). 3 of us started spending more time together to support her through the ongoing divorce. We started going to the movies, hosting wine nights, and even ended up taking a weekend camping trip.

During that time, John started talking about a girl he was seeing and gave her a nickname, Hershey. He kept telling me that it's supposed to be casual, but he really wanted to ask her out and become serious. I just thought I was hearing him out and giving him sound advice, so I just told him to take things as they are since it didn't seem that she was into him and only wanted to be casual.

Then, after a movie night turned sleepover, after Siobhan and John left, I was cleaning up my living room when John called me and revealed that Hershey ended things with him. Then he dropped the bomb - Hershey was Siobhan. I was completely shocked.

Apparently, when I was out of town back in July 2023, Siobhan made a move on John and they started secretly sleeping together since then. John said that he's been wanting to tell me for months, but Siobhan told John that they have to be careful and can't get caught since they worked together. Remember that camping trip I mentioned? They even snuck away while I was sleeping in the tent to "get busy". He even told me that they'd be scared that I'd catch them cuddling on my couch when I was sleeping in my room.

Now I feel like I was oblivious to the signs that something was happening between them. I really just thought we were the 3 amigos, but instead my friends were sneaking around. One night at karaoke, I noticed Siobhan giving John a look, and immediately said "what the fuck was that?" They both said nothing and I brushed it off. John even asked if I could dog sit for him last minute because he was driving 2 hours away to go see Hershey on the same weekend that Siobhan was out of town. And Hershey just so happened to be in the same city as Siobhan.

It doesn't end there. One time, all of us drove down to WV to visit his dad. But apparently, when we got there, he told his dad and stepmom to act like they haven't met Siobhan before since THEY HAD WENT THERE BEFORE FOR A WEEKEND! Whenever we'd hang out at my place, after they left, they were going back to her place regularly.

At first, I was just floored that I was so delulu and didn't catch on to what was happening. And John is a lover boy, so I knew he was catching feelings for her, but she's going thru a divorce and I know she was focused on purging of her soon-to-be ex-husband and not looking for anything serious. But from what John was telling me, it sounded like they were doing more than hooking up.

But I ended up being pissed off that they lied to my face. I get that Siobhan was going thru her own process with this divorce, but why would you shit where you eat?! And John thinking that it was going to be anything but casual was delulu on his end - what made him think that when she's just ending her marriage is beyond me.

I honestly lost trust in both of them after that. Like I was made a fool thinking that we were building a genuine friendship. And Siobhan never told me - nor do I think that she knows I know. Not to mention that John put me in an awkward position by telling me. I honestly could have been delulu forever. I also already have trust issues and haven't felt comfortable confiding in Siobhan or John.

When I told John how I felt lied to, he basically doubled down on invalidating my feelings and saying that it wasn't my business and was between them (then why the fuck did you tell me?!?). He basically insinuated that I was being in my feelings. He even accused me that I didn't want them to be together (which I didn't because I knew it wasn't genuine on Siobhan's end - trust me when I say she didn't see he in that way).

It's been a year now (they're both in separate relationships) and we don't hang out as a group or work together anymore. I've hung out with them both separately, but it's honestly never been the same. Siobhan still hasn't told me and I don't think she knows I know. but we're going on a camping trip with a couple other friends (I think to reconnect in nature)

I thought I'd finally let it go and put it behind me, but it's recently been popping up. I never got to confront how much of a fool I felt, and I feel like she's going to want to try to get deep with the group, and I don't trust being deep - I might just blow up. Am I overreacting for still not trusting them after what happened last year? I do want to stay friends with Siobhan and been honest with her, but I feel like this has been over my head for so long now and I can't see a way forward in our friendship without addressing this.

Just some extra context:

• I did not want to, nor need to know about their relationship at all. It was never my place, and John made the decision to make it my business.

• With the details that he was telling me, it seems like we started hanging out as a group as a cover to hide their relationship. It's honestly not so much that they were sleeping together that I'm mad about. It's the extent they went to hide it, and after it ended, we stopped hanging out as a group. It honestly made me feel like I was being used.

• The comments about "shit where you eat" was unnecessary and out of anger when I said initially found out. But honestly, she was working thru this shift in her life the way she saw fit. I've had friends that have hooked up before so it's not so much that part that pissed me off. It's the lies

• I am really trying to work thru this, especially with Siobhan because we've really grown our friendship in the last year and I want to maintain our friendship and trust her. I just don't like having this information and never got the chance to work thru it because of other reasons that occurred during that time.

I hate that the title seems like rage bait or that I’m trolling but I’m actually lost.

I (27F) have been friends with “K” (26F) for a few years now. Due to the cost of living, many of my friends have moved home or to new cities for other job opportunities and so K is probably the only friend I have at the moment.

K is hispanic and grew up in what I assume is a pretty hispanic-dominant community. I am half white (Mom) and half Arab (Dad) and grew up in an Arab dominant community. My mom tried to assimilate us into the culture as best she can but we definitely had some influence of midwestern culture, whatever that is. We both live in Southern California.

Recently, K has been making a lot of remarks about how she hates white people. She always used to make those kind of jokes you see all over the internet, you know like “oh white people don’t like seasoning” but its really ramping up to her actually hating white people. She was talking about finding a guy with a white complexion cute and how she really hopes he isn’t white but just a lighter skinned hispanic person, which isn’t that bad but I thought it was weird that someone’s race would make them less attractive to her. We later went to this local event and she started talking about how she can’t stand that there’s a bunch of white kids attending as if she was actually disgusted by it. There’s some other remarks she made but it made it really clear to me that she genuinely despises white people to the point she doesn’t want to be in the same room as them.

Am I overreacting by being uncomfortable with what she’s saying? At the end of the day, I am half white and it feels like she’s disgusted by a part of me and my family. At the same time, I am aware of how minorities are treated by white people as I’ve witnessed how people have treated my father like dirt. I don’t want to overstep and tell her how uncomfortable I feel by what she’s saying when I don’t know the experiences she’s had.

Throwaway because my main account has too much identifiable information on it. I’m sorry for how long this is, but I’m really disturbed and trying to process everything that’s happened.

I (27F) met my friend ‘Maddie’ (28F) about a year ago at a Halloween party. We hit it off immediately and quickly became close.

To be honest, I’ve had a crush on Maddie since we met. We have great chemistry and flirty banter, and at times, it felt like there was tension between us. But Maddie has a boyfriend, ‘Jake,’ and they’ve been together for 6 years. They’re in an open relationship, but neither of them ever made a pass at me—until a couple of weeks ago.

Maddie and I usually hang out one-on-one. I’ve only interacted with Jake briefly when picking up or dropping off Maddie. He’s always been polite, but a bit distant. A couple of weeks ago, Maddie and I were out getting drinks, and the vibe felt… different. She seemed nervous and more flirtatious than usual. After only 30 minutes, she asked if we could go to a bar closer to her apartment. She was glued to her phone on the whole walk over, then said, “Jake is gonna join us there.” I was a little sad because we had started talking about pretty personal things that I knew I wouldn’t want to share in front of Jake, and I wished she would have asked if it was okay that he come. At the same time, I thought it would be disrespectful of me to say no to him joining.

When Jake arrived, the vibe shifted completely. I tried to make conversation with him, but all of his responses were short and uninterested. He didn’t ask me anything or even really try to talk to me. I gave up trying to include him and just focused on talking to Maddie. We eventually eased back into the natural banter that she and I had. Here’s the weird thing - it’s not like Jake pulled out his phone and kept to himself - he just sat there, drinking his beer, and watching us. Later, they both simultaneously announced they were tired and ready to go home. I couldn’t 100% get over Jake’s standoffish energy, so I didn’t mind calling it a night. My theory was that he had possibly caught on to the fact that I had a crush on Maddie, and was pulling some sort of jealous boyfriend stunt. It made me feel really guilty about my crush, so I decided to not say anything and let Maddie initiate whenever she wanted to hang out again.

This pattern happened three more times: Maddie and I met up, Jack dropped in on us, he wouldn’t say anything, and I eventually went home. 

After the fourth time, I asked Maddie if Jake didn’t like me. She laughed it off and said he was just quiet. That made me feel crazy, and I admit that I got upset. I told her that it was one thing to be quiet, but I didn’t understand why he was so determined to crash our one-on-one time if he wasn’t going to add anything to the conversation or even try to engage with me. She accused me of acting jealous. I was a little speechless and didn’t know where to go from there, so I left. She tried to apologize and asked me to stay, but I said I needed space. I felt embarrassed (for being called out on something that I guess was a little true) and also like she was gaslighting me - I just didn’t get how she couldn’t see that her boyfriend was being weird. She tried calling and texting afterwards asking if we could talk, but I told her I wanted a few days apart.

I’m so sorry for how long this post has been, but all the context felt necessary for what I found out a couple of days ago. After a week, Maddie texted me saying that she was sorry and wanted to talk in person to explain everything. Honestly, I missed her and wasn’t all that angry anymore. We met up for drinks (without Jake) caught up like normal for a few hours, and after enough rounds, I worked up the courage to tell her how sad I was that our friendship had been so weird for the past month. She apologized for Jake’s behavior and for letting him crash our plans. I told her how much it hurt my feelings to accuse me of being jealous, and that’s when she admitted that when she said that, she was just projecting. The truth is that she has had feelings for me since we met and liked the idea of me being jealous. I was speechless and felt like my brain was glitching, trying to process the fact that I had been right about there being something between us this whole time, but also feeling manipulated. I didn’t outright admit my own feelings but told her my theory that Jake had been suspicious of us and that’s why he had insisted on being present when we were together.

That’s when Maddie told me that, yes, Jake knew that Maddie had feelings for me, as she had told him not long after we became friends. Even though they were open, Jake wasn’t comfortable with Maddie initiating anything with me because we had a close friendship and they only hooked up with strangers. However, over time, Maddie talked about me so much to Jake that it began to cause a rift in their relationship. Jake was afraid that Maddie would resent him over their ‘no friends’ rule, so he began opening up to the idea of somehow including me as an exception. At some point, he had pitched us all hooking up in a threesome. I should say here that I am a lesbian and exclusively attracted to women, and Jake knew this, so this was very uncomfortable to hear. But it gets worse, and this is what I worry I may be overreacting about. 

Maddie confirmed that the first night Jake joined us at the bar, he had been drinking and his jealousy had hit a breaking point. He argued with Maddie over text and insisted that he come to make sure nothing was going on between us. This is when Jake realized that it turned him on to see Maddie, his girlfriend, on a ‘date’ with someone else. The reason he was quiet the whole time was because he liked watching Maddie flirt with me and our general dynamic. After Maddie told me this, I lost it a little bit. I felt so many fucking things - confusion, betrayal, like I was objectified? I asked Maddie something like, “So you’re telling me that for the past two weeks, you’ve been involving me in you and your boyfriend’s fetish?” She tried to say that it wasn’t like that, and that she hoped that it would open the door for something to happen between us. I yelled at her, asking who she meant by ‘us’ - me and her, or me, her, and her boyfriend. She said she didn’t know and just wanted to be with me somehow. By this point, I was so tipsy and angry I was on the verge of tears and ended up storming out of the restaurant, despite her yelling after me to stay.

My roommates, who had been following this saga from the beginning, took my phone and blocked her and Jake on everything. They’ve validated all of my feelings and been supportive of me - I feel like I’m going through a really nasty breakup. I feel taken advantage of, I feel sexualized, I feel disgusting that I was made to participate in someone’s sexual fantasy without knowing, and worst of all, totally heartbroken that a girl who I genuinely loved (both as a friend, and possibly even more) would put me through this. One of my coworkers suggested that I shouldn't have been as close with her since she had a boyfriend, and it may have even been wrong of *me* to carry on our friendship like that. Am I overreacting that this was a gross thing to do to someone? Was it wrong of me to have a crush on her despite her having a boyfriend?

TL;DR: I had a crush on my best friend Maddie, who has a long-term boyfriend, Jake. Recently, Jake started crashing our hangouts, sitting quietly and watching us. Maddie eventually admitted she's always had feelings for me, and Jake was turned on by watching us. I feel manipulated and disgusted that they used me to fulfill his kink without my consent. Am I overreacting to feeling this way?

ETA: Thanks everyone for your comments and different perspectives! Believe it or not, this post was twice as long when I first wrote it - ended up deleting a lot of context to get to the point quicker, so wanted to quickly clarify a few things:

• Nothing ever happened between us
• I never wanted anything to happen - I genuinely respected her and Jake's relationship
• I hate cheating, so that was never on the table, even if she initiated
• I wasn't playing some long-con to wait out their relationship and jump if they ever broke up
• I think people are reading too much malice into the "crush" thing - once I saw her and Jake together, the reality of the seriousness of their relationship hit me in the face and I knew I didn't want to mess with them. They were cute! From then on I saw us as best friends first. We saw each other at least once a week, talked on the phone twice, and she even became my emergency contact during a hospital visit. It's really hard to just make your feelings go away, so I put them to the side and planned on them eventually fading away entirely.

Ok y’all thank you for being patient today was OD stressful and I needed a break from everything. This will be the last post on the subject. If you don’t know the story, you can go back and look at my last two posts. Anyways I read a lot of y’all comments and people were saying to wait to catch them in the act. And do this or do that. All I could do was be patient fr🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. I didn’t want to accuse them of anything crazy because I didn’t want to lose them. I was essentially post-poning my own heartbreak.

I was supposed to confront them together, but that didn’t work out. I went and looked through his phone and I didn’t find anything of course. So The last couple days it was so hard not to say anything to either one of them but today was the fuckin day😭😭. My bf (ex-bf now) was supposed to be at work. I check his location he’s not. Fast forward I’m texting them both because I’m absolutely livid. As y’all can see in the texts they being assholes. So anyways I end up going to my bsf house and I’m banging on the door and she not answering. I don’t see my bf car outside so yall was right about warning them. Idk why I did that. I check locations tho and my bsf stopped sharing hers but my ex I could still see his it says he’s somewhere near his job now🤦🏾‍♀️.

I keep banging on her door and calling her phone and she picks up and I can hear her dumbass through the door🤣🤣. Like shame on me for giving such idiots my time🙄. I keep banging banging. Hot ghetto mess Ik. She finally opens the door and once I get in there we get to tussling because bitch who are you playing with fr??? I’m Molly whopping tf out this hoe and she crying and shit telling me to stop. She got a couple good hits in I’m not gone lie. After about 30 secs one of her neighbors I guess hears us and breaks us up. She crying and her nose bleeding and at this point I’m in panic mode or my adrenaline rushing whatever so I end up running out the door hopping in my car. So I sit there for a sec and I’m just crying too at this point. I mean like she’s my best friend and I considered her a sister and I always had the bros over hoes mentality. She ends up running out and she sees my car and she bangin on the window the neighbor still trying to hold her back and I get out the car and she’s screaming telling me she never fcked him and everything and that she wasn’t with him yada yada yada.

We end up talking for like 20 mins but I just don’t believe her. I end up leaving and going back home I take all my ex shit out and leave it outside. A couple hours later he “got off work” and was now banging on my door. Calling and texting me calling me all types of crazy and I didn’t respond. I blocked him and after about 15 mins of this he left. I blocked her as well and I’m just done with the situation now. Hopefully they fuck off together and leave me alone for good🫡.

I’m On my way! To this girl house I refuse to keep being lied to!! I wasn’t born yesterday and they keep trying to convince the location doesn’t work right. Unreal!!! I’m so done with both of them after this🫡🫡🫡🫡

So I’ll try to keep this short. My bestie(23F) and I (26F) have been friends since about middle school. I trust her with my life. But recently she’s been acting weird. Not answering her phone, flaking on me etc. I recently met my Bf(24M) and we’ve been dating for about 5 months now. So that’s the back story. About a month ago we all hung out and got drunk at my besties place and i noticed my bsf and bf being a tad flirty. I didn’t think anything of it really because we were all really fcked up and I never would think she would cross me like that. We’ve all hung out before and they aren’t like that when we’re sober. But this time she kept laughing at his jokes and touching him. Still I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward to about a week ago, I left some items I wanted to retrieve at her house and asked my bf to stop by her house for me on his way from work. He said he would and that was that. He then let me know that he got the items and he was on his way. About a hour or 2 goes by and he’s still not here. So I check his location and it says he still at her house! They both must have forgot I have the locations for both of them and it shows she’s home as well. So I end up calling her and she doesn’t pick up. I called him next and he didn’t pick up. Her house is only about 20 mins away from mine. So exactly 20 mins later he calls me back and says he stopped to get food and is outside. I let him in and didn’t say a word about it. My bsf then calls me back and said she and my bf went to get food real quick. I said ok and calmed my overthinking they were just getting food is all?

So this is what rose my suspicions extra high. Yesterday my bf said he was going out with a couple buddies and to not wait up for him. So I called my bestie and asked her if she wanted to make plans but she said she was staying in as she wasn’t feeling too good. About a hour after he left something told me to check locations once again and i noticed they were at the same place! I end up calling both of them separately and my bf answered but she did not. I still haven’t said anything to either of them fearing I’m overreacting. She wouldn’t hurt me like that. And I love my bf and he loves me. So is it just coincidence??

**Edit: So a little update. Thank you everyone for the advice and opinions. It’s really eating me up and I need some answers. I’m already expecting the worst and I’ve decided to confront them together as a surprise and we will all be meeting up “to chill” later on or so they think. I will keep everyone posted!!

***Edit2: So just to clarify. The second time I saw the locations together they were not at her house they were at this bar/ hookah lounge we visit often. I would have definitely gone to her house if they were there a second time. And when I FaceTimed him he showed who he was with but I didn’t see her in the camera. Granted he could have just not included her. He is sleep now and I’m about to go through that phone! I’ll Let yall know what I find.

My husband (43m) suddenly had a new bf (37f) about 5 years ago. During covid this person became a part of the bubble and she was at our house a lot, became friendly with the kids and I was expected to accept them. I always had suspicions, kicked off a few times over little things between them but always accepted husbands pleas the they were just friends. A few years ago I found a message to her telling her how gorgeous she is and that he loves her also various other inappropriate messages and he assured me it was just advice he was just being a friend and I accepted that. We've since been on numerous holidays together, celebrated different event birthdays etc.but the other morning I saw a message from her telling him she loves him, kiss face emojis and calling him darling. When I confronted him he told me it was just a term of endearment. I messaged and asked why she was sending that to my husband of over 20 years and got nothing. I've told him I'm done, our marriage is over. Am I overreacting?

UPDATE To reply to some of the comments no this is not fake this is my life at the moment and the reason I ask if I'm overreacting is that he is making out that I am and making me doubt myself.

I won't be telling him to pick either me or her because I can't trust him to cut ties completely and some of his behaviour this week has shown me exactly where I am in his priorities and that is at the bottom of the heap.

Yes I know I've been stupid but after being married for 15/16 years (together for 20) at the the time she came into our lives I thought I could trust him. 🙄 we have had many arfuements about things that have happened and he's always made out like I'm crazy, I'm imagining things or even it's my fault.

He is still in my house at the moment, our tenancy has come to an end and I've told him I'm looking for somewhere for me and the kids and he should find somewhere to go. I get the feeling he doesn't think I will do it because now he is ignoring me like he normally does after an argument. He goes to the friends house a couple of nights a week and still went this week even though I suggested he give it a miss so we can talk. That was one of things that made me realise I am definitely not a priority.

A year ago my husband got a new friend G. He raved about him and said he was the best guy ever. I think my husband's just happy his rec basketball team has a shot at winning now lol

When I met him, he was very nice, very polite and a bit nervous and awkward. But overall he seemed like a good guy and I was happy my husband was getting better friends.

Fast forward a couple months later. My husband and I threw a small party. G was invited.

We all started talking about childhood fictional crushes. I talked about my childhood crush and how attractive I found his hair.

A couple of days later, G shows up with that haircut. I admit it looked very good on him but it's not a common haircut around

That made me realize other things. He's a very attentive listener. He shows a lot of interest in my hobbies. He's changed his fashion to mirror mine. He still seems nervous around me.

But on the other hand, everything could be totally innocuous and platonic and I'm overthinking this. Maybe he just trusts my sense of fashion

Am I overthinking or is my husband's friend interested in me? What should I do to address this?

We went to bed at 12am, and I really needed 7 hours of sleep and I have to get up for work at 7. He doesn’t need to get up until about 7.30 but he set his alarm to come on at 6.30. It doesn’t come on completely, it has a bright “dawn” light that’s meant to wake you up gradually before it properly goes off half an hour later. It didn’t really wake me up but the fact that he didn’t consider the fact that I really needed to sleep annoyed me, so I started whinging about it. He got really angry and pushed me out of bed, saying I’m really annoying. I was really shocked and started shaking. He continued being angry. I told him if we weren’t going on holiday in a week I would have dumped him. I went in the kitchen and locked him out, and then he started to say that he’s not abusive etc and he was sorry. I just told him to fuck off. Then I left for work and he sent me a text saying he was really sorry and he didn’t mean to frighten me.

I just felt like he was being a dick and setting his alarm early for the sake of it cos he’s one of those people that thinks they’re better than everyone else if they get up early. AIO?

Edit: he doesn’t need to get up until 7.30. He normally sets his alarm at 7 so I didn’t think it would be an issue and didn’t realize he’d set it earlier. It’s hard for me to get to bed earlier as I have really bad ocd and anxiety about going to bed. We didn’t live together so we’d been hanging out, then we went to bed at the same time

I (35M) discovered recently that my (37M) friend is dating a boy much younger (22M) whom by appearance could easily pass for a high school student , I personally felt uncomfortable about the big age gap but kept silent, still I can't help but question my friend's intentions behind dating someone that young.

I know they are both legal adults but that sort of age gap at these ages hold a big power imbalance so I find it concerning why my slightly older friend would choose to date someone being the age of a kid to me.

From the one time I spent with them both , it was really awkard, the younger one barely spoke also me and another friend didn't have much to discuss with someone that far away from our age either , and I felt my friend was acting more like a mentor rather than a partner to his boyfriend so the whole relationship creeped me out.   should I be honest and speak to him about his relationship and its potentially predatory dynamic especially that his younger partner looks like a child and kind of acts like one too or should I just keep minding my own business?

Basically I asked my friend to drive me to/from my colonoscopy appointment since I’d be getting anesthesia and wouldn’t be able to drive myself. I asked her if she’d be able to do it 8 weeks ago and followed up almost weekly to make sure she could do it. I contacted her the night before to confirm with her. I let her know if she was unable, please let me know and I’ll ask someone else. But she assured me it was no problem.

Well the morning of the appointment, she’s a no show. She finally texted me back and let me know she was at some random guy’s house and would be at least 15 min late. At this point I’m panicked because it was time for me to leave. Luckily my brother was visiting and was able to drive me at the last minute, but if not for him, I would have had no way to get to/from my appointment.

Anyone who’s had the colonoscopy will tell you that the two day prep is awful. I’m angry with my friend because she almost made me miss my appointment. I would have missed the appointment if I showed up 15 minutes late. I’m thinking about cutting off the friendship because of this (and other disrespectful behavior from her). Am I overreacting?

Okay so I know this sounds petty that’s why I’m bringing it up. My (f24) bf (m28) has a best friend (f26). We’re all at university together and have a shared office with a lot of others at the faculty. I tend to bring snacks for us most of the time.

I brought 3 apples for my bf, me and my brother (who was visiting). My bf came over, took 2 of them from my desk, cut them up and put them on two plates with some PB. I thought that was quite nice of him but he then put one of the plates on his desk and the other on his friends desk.

I gave my brother his apple so I didn’t have any at all.

I know it’s a silly thing to be upset about but I was kinda mad he took 2/3 apples and only thought of him and his friend.

I’m also writing exams right now so I might just be a little extra stressing about unnecessary things.

Am I overreacting here?

Just some background, my friend (23m) and I (21m) have been friends since high school. We both are part of a groupchat with a few other high school friends. We’ve all pretty much acknowledged that we live separate lives, though, everyone still stays in touch, we hang out most weekends, and we all live in the same city. High school was full of drama for us, mostly due to competition with women, and I would try my best to stay away from it.

My friend hooked up with one of my exes about a week after I broke up with her back in high school. Though, I forgave him and moved past it since he was so open and honest about it. Then it happened a second time a year later. I broke up with a new girl, and he tells me the same story. I got a little mad but then again, I let it move past me. I’m not the one to hold a grudge, especially against someone I consider a genuine friend. Besides, she isn’t mine anymore.

Years later, I’m a senior in college, everything seems normal, and I started talking to this girl that I was extremely emotionally invested in. I would text the groupchat everyday about her. Things didn’t workout between us, but I still feel some sort of investment with her, but I’ve been doing better with setting my feelings to the side.

A month passes, my friend comes back from deployment. I’m so excited to finally see him. Until he posts the girl and himself on his snapchat story. I became so furious because this time was different. He didn’t give me a story, he didn’t ask if it was okay with me, he didn’t do anything. We planned to hang out the night before, but those plans were cancelled, then the night after, I see the story.

I called him out in the groupchat and he was extremely nonchalant about it. Like he didn’t care at all. It made me feel undervalued. All of the times we’ve hung out, shared laughs, moments, everything didn’t matter anymore. He did it a third time. I didn’t realize we were all playing some sort of masculinity contest. I felt so guilty because I let it happen twice, I should’ve known it would happen again. I was waiting on him to come back for months, and he screws me over the second he comes back home. “Bro code” is such a corny term, but I still believed in it.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? How would you react?

I host D&D group sessions for my friends almost every weekend. We are all in our 30s but it's still one of our favorite activities. A few weeks ago, one of our friends decided to bring one of his cousins (also in his 30s) along, and as usual we welcomed the new player with excitement.

At first he seemed like a really cool player, really helpful with ideas and engaging with the party. The first few sessions were great. His backstory was that of a noble, and I decided to make last weekend's turn focus on it. Man, that was a mistake.

You see, many of our players have partners in game. We don't do any graphic scenes but it's one of the ways I allow my players to explore the world I create for them. I gave this new player a chance to get one in his backstory, and things went south. When I asked him what his partner would be like, he first said he wanted an elf girl that was small and 200 years old. I thought that was interesting, but as he was describing her things started to get weird. He said he wanted her to have small features, and so far that was ok, but then he started to use the word "childlike".

The reason I usually ask for such detailed descriptions is because one of our players is really talented at drawing and likes to draw most of the story's characters which adds to immersion. Well, as soon as the player who does the drawings heard the new player saying "childlike" she immediately looked at me with concern. I asked the new player if he was serious and he said he was and continued the description like everything was fine. Eventually we had to ask him to stop as we were not going to roll with that. He asked us why, and we said we weren't going to allow him to get a child bride in our roleplaying game. He said she wasn't a child, just "child-like". We said that wasn't allowed either. He got angry, and said "child brides were normal back then". I said not in my world. He said my campaign was clearly inspired by Germany (I have some cities that end with 'burg') and told me the age of consent in Germany is 14 so I should stop being "hateful". We had to end the session after that, awkwardly, but it was already close to the normal time I end the turns anyways.

Fast forward to this weekend, and other players have contacted me saying they weren't comfortable playing if this new player was around again. I said I totally understood, and talked to the friend which the new player is a cousin with. He was super ebarrassed, and said he didn't think his cousin would ever do such a thing. He said his cousin claimed some months ago to be a lolicon but he didn't know what that meant, but now after looking it up he said that made sense. Anyway, his cousin, the new player, is not invited for our sessions anymore, and he told us himself that he'd look for a "lolicon friendly group" since we were too hateful and puritan for him. I feel like I did the right thing but I still wonder if banning him straight away was the right move.

Throw away because the details can give out my identity and i want to keep this on the down low.

I my apologies for the lengh; but before i get into the story; i feel like i need to describe the context behind the situation so people can understand the lead up to the full story before they give their opinion.

Context: I (F32) am friends with a couple (lets call them Micheal (M42) and Michelle (F40)) who consitantly throws eachother under the bus (they both openly talk about how each partner doesnt contribute enough, how they have to do everything themselves, says degrading things about their partner.. etc). Michelle is a little too friendly with my husband (M35) and has in the past looked for reasons to try and get physical with him (told her kid to touch his beard and to give her hugs). And Micheal has done similar things such as be a little too touchy with me (gently caressed my arm or back to say goodbye or to get my attention). I have also witnessed Micheal and Michelle activly avoid eachother (they will pick different directions to walk home in and Micheal will do his own things on weekends or outings while Michelle is with their kids. And my husband has mentioned a few time Micheal activly avoids my husband out in public (my husband says they will lock eyes then Micheal pretends he doesnt see him and walks in a different direction).

I also want to add for Micheals birthday him and his best friend (F25), posted pictures of her kissing Micheal on the cheek after they went out to lunch celebrate his birthday.

On to the story; Micheal mentioned he was having a birthday party. He mentioned he was renting out a bar which hes going to be hosting a rave at. He made it sound like it was going to be a blast so i agreed to go. After i RSVP'd, Michelle says we should go together to keep eachother company as we would not know a lot of people there and could keep eachother company which i liked the idea of and agreed.

A week before Micheals party; i mentioned to him and his wife I'm probably not going to stay long because i had responsibilities the next day so i couldnt stay out late. Then they both made fun of me saying how im "old" and i should be staying until at least midnight. I told them both no.

A few days later, Michelle let me know one of our mutual friends (lets call her Victoria (F33) was available and wanted to come with us.

The day of the party, I invited both girls over to my place around 7 for pre drinks. Victoria came just after 7, we started drinking, and did a tarot reading. Michelle shows up over an hour late; knocks on the door and my husband answers as he was closest to the door because Victoria and I were in the other room. Instead of comming to find us, she stood at the door and talked to my husband for 10-15 minutes. I over hear pieces of the conversation as she chats up my husband complaining about her husband Micheal. Once he excuses himself; she comes and finds us. I ask her if she wants to join us with drinks and she laughs. I brush it off, Michelle says we should head out soom so Victoria and I go into then kitchen to finish our drinks while Michelle goes off to say goodbye to my husband and child; i overhear her saying "can i get a hug before i go.... pauses... then says my daughters name". I was in a different room but from what my husband told me after my daughter didnt seem to want to give her a hug so Michelle asked for a fist bump. Before we leave, I over hear Michelle saying to my husband and his mum "Don't worry, i will take care of OP and Victoria for the night and we will stick together as a group."

We leave and head to the bar. Once we got there we ran into a few people Michelle knew but Victoria or I didnt know. Michelle mentioned Victoria was her plus one and didnt introduce me, so i introduced myself. We go up the narrow stairs stairs to the party single file. Michelle is first up the stairs with Victoria behind here and me in the back. We got to the door man and Michelle said to the guy Victoria was her plus one; as they were heading into the bar i was behind victoria and said "I'm with them." Michelle turns around and said "No you're not, you are by yourself". I immediately became uneasy of what she said and went into fight or flight mode which made me became hyper aware of my surroundings for the rest of the night. The door man fumbled through a few sheets of paper looking uncomfortable and they find my name and I'm let in. Before i step in; I glared daggers at Michelle, then agressively walked past her. Before i passed her, Michelle gave me a look in shock, fear, and became really quiet. I felt incredibly uncomfortable but i didnt want to let it ruin my night. So i took a few breaths, centered myself, then stood beside Victoria and talked to her a bit while we danced and listened to music. Because of what Michelle said, I no longer trusted Michelle and I made it my mission that Victoria and I did everything that night together (got drinks together, went to the bathroom together, socialized together... etc.). I didnt feel safe so i carried my drinks to the bathroom, and when i put them down i didnt pick them back up. For the rest of the night, Michelle activly avoided us, by migrating to different groups, then dissapeared 45 minutes into the night. We asked a few people where she was, they didnt know. Then we eventually ran into Micheal who told us she was downstairs socializing. Victoria and i decided it would be a good idea to leave shortly after because the bar was getting crowded and Michelle was no where to be seen. We left the party and found her on the sidewalk talking to people we didnt know. Micheal appears and told us the "main act is comming on soon so we shouldnt leave let". Victoria and I mentioned we have things to do tomorrow morning. Micheal gets visably annoyed and brushes us off. Victoria yells bye to him but he ignores her and runs up the stairs towards the bar. We then call an uber and head home.

I get home and my husband is still awake. So i told him about what went down during the night and he wasnt surprised knowing the couple and their history and we shoudlnt accociate with them anymore because it sounded like they were doing something sketchy; which i 100% agreed to. But i also know he is my husband and I'm his wife so his opinon could be bias; and I cant tell anyone in our friend group as it will probably get back to them. And i dont know if i should open the can of worms and confront them. I wanted an outside opinon on this situation because the reaction i got from her was surprise and fear which looking back i feel bad doing as i may be blowing this out of proportion. I also dont out often and I want to hear other thoughts and opinions if being let into a party seperately is a thing? The whole situation made me feel like there was something bigger going on and was a pawn in a game. I am so glad Victoria came because she is a sweet person and I feel like she saved me that night. If she wasnt there i dont know what would have happened and its eating me up.

So, AIO for glareing daggers at my friend for singleing me out at her husbands birthday?

EDIT: I'm getting a lot of comments about the guest list which i should have clarified. The couple mentioned to me prior that i didnt have to legitamately RSVP because i was friends with the host and would be let in without buying a ticket. I was surprised i was on the guest list because i was suppose to be going with Michelle who will get us in.

EDIT: I'm also getting a lot of comments on why or how we became friends. We are all apart of the same parent group and all of our kids hang out with eachother and most of our kids go to the same school. We didnt actively seek eachother out; just happen to be in the same friend group.

I've (F45) had a group of friends since lockdown, one of whom is my childhood best friend (bf) Throughout this time our social lives have essentially revolved around the 'leaders' life - baby shower, gender reveal, bachelorette, birthdays, wedding etc.... I went along with it as I figured it just happened to all be happening in a short space of time. When it was my birthday this year I asked if anyone wanted to go out for dinner and the leader announced in response that she was pregnant again, too tired and too poor to go out, ever again and from now on we were only to meet up for lunch with the kids and husbands. To my surprise, everyone agreed with her and no one would do anything for my birthday which was a bit surprising but I did something else without them and it was great. But then the following week, my bf sent out a secret message organising a holiday abroad for the leaders birthday. The leader has also in the meantime been on long haul holidays, bought taylor swift tickets etc... basically she is anything but poor. What is blowing my mind is that the entire group is backing her up! And my bf started distancing herself from me (we have known each other 40 years!!) I tried reaching out to bf and asking why there was no compromise at all, why the leader got to decide what we all do and why is everyone backing her up? Bf keeps repeating she is just too tired to do anything else. Then the leaders cousin passed away (none of the group ever met her) and we were asked to attend the funeral. I couldn't go as I was working, and then I found out that the leader had set up a new whatsapp thread, without me on it, to thank the others for their support and then that became the new thread that I was excluded from. When I spoke to them about it they gaslighted me and said there wasn't an issue. Then when my bf was showing me photos in her phone gallery, she accidentally swiped onto screenshots of my messages, that she has clearly been showing to people. Now bf (or former bf should i say) is organising an expensive spa weekend for the leaders baby shower. WTF I feel like I'm in the twilight zone here. I cannot believe my bf would do this to me, but after several months of being upset I'm actually just a little angry and ready to walk away from them on focus on my other friends. Am I missing something here?

Im so upset about this and not thinking clearly, so I’m hoping to get some unbiased opinions before I potentially blow up a 10+ yr friendship. Am I overreacting to this?

I’m getting married this weekend and my best friend is my MOH. I also have 4 other girls in my wedding party as bridesmaids. Last night I came across a post on a wedding shaming Facebook group that was made by my best friend and MOH, basically trashing me as a person and my entire wedding. It’s a private group so I don’t think she ever expected me to be a member and was hoping for some anonymous venting. But what I saw is devastating and hurtful. And now I’m questioning everything.

To summarize, she called me cheap (amongst other names) and is accusing me of taking advantage of my bridal party, asking selfish favours, working them to the bone, etc. in an attempt to save money. She also insulted my fiancé and belittled his career. The tone of the post is that of absolute loathing. It’s filled with resentment and I’m questioning if she even likes me now?

I have asked my bridal party to do a few things but I absolutely do NOT think I’ve been a bridezilla in any way, shape or form (but please correct me if you think otherwise). I’ve tried my best to take their feelings into consideration. I have not asked them to pay for anything (I am covering the cost of their hair, makeup, dresses, even a private hotel room for each person on the day of the wedding). They were all given plus ones. We all split the cost of the bachelorette trip equally.

She’s been acting distant with me lately and I assumed it was because she was just busy or something. But seeing what she said about me, I now know it’s because she’s thinking these awful thoughts about me and my wedding. The problem is, I don’t think I can have here up there with me anymore. I can’t have my MOH be someone who says these things about me. I can no longer trust her to give a speech (what will she even say??.)

I think I’m going to send her screenshots of her post in the Facebook group and ask her not to attend my wedding. But we’ve been friends for close to 15 years so maybe I should just let it go and slowly phase her out of my life.

So Reddit, would I be overreacting if I confronted her and kicked her out of my wedding that’s a few days away?

ETA: I’ve seen a few comments asking for details about what I’ve asked my wedding party to do. Copy and pasting my response to one of these comments:

I’ve been so busy with wedding stuff (rehearsal dinner is literally tomorrow night) so I haven’t had time to reply to any comments yet. But I’ve seen this asked a few times and wanted to answer.

Here is a list of what my bridal party has helped with:

• 2 bridesmaids volunteered to help me place centrepieces on the reception tables on the morning of the wedding, before hair and makeup (MOH did not volunteer, which I am fine with)
• One bridesmaid is a professional baker and offered to bake some cupcakes for the rehearsal dinner. She invited us over to her house to drink wine, hang out together, and do the baking. (MOH said she was busy and did not attend, which everyone was cool with)

I’ve been in weddings before that cost way more than I could afford at the time so I’ve been trying my best not to put any financial hardship on my friends. My priority is them having fun and celebrating with me. I don’t want them to feel stressed about money.