I (50F) have a daughter I'll call H, (5F) who turns 6 this October.

Now, in my family whenever a little girl turns 6 we take them to an apple tree and take a picture underneath it. My grandma (now dead) started this tradition when she was 6 and did it for my mom and myself.

I have 7 going on 8 kids, 4 of whom are daughters. So far, we only have 2 pictures for my girls as one of them didn't want to participate.

Now, the thing is my grandma, my mom and myself all look very similar with mostly varied eye color. My oldest (15F) also naturally has hair similar to my own and freckles like my mother. My other daughter (12F) is pretty much the spitting image of me.

My other girl, (13F) was blonde when she was little and she skipped out on the tradition. Due to this, I realized the photos pretty much look like the same girl throughout different decades and we've joked that it looks like my grandma was a time traveler.

Now, my littlest lady turns 6 in October and is very excited for the tradition. However, there's one problem. She has black hair like my mother-in-law did before she passed and overall differs in appearance from myself and my mother. Due to this, she will ruin the overall same girl though different decades of the photos.

Recently, I sat her down and very gently explained that she had 2 options. Either 1) wear a wig so her hair looks more like mine or 2) she couldn't participate.

She got very upset with me and cried about not wanting to wear a wig. After the tantrum I then explained that she couldn't do the tradition because she didn't look the part. Meltdown number 2 happened pretty quickly after that. After that, I told her to blame her sister (13F) for not participating and creating the time traveler look.

She has since calmed down and seems understanding but my older girls (15F) and (13F) have been giving my nasty glares and told me I was being unfair. Along with this, (13F) is upset because now my youngest won't talk to her.

Personally, this feels like childish drama but AITA?

I do what my wife wants without any complaints, I go out with her to dinner, karaoke, to watch movies or elsewhere whenever she asks, even when I tell her that I'm not feeling in the best mood. I don't even request she do anything for me, there only have been a handful of times. But, I really wanted to watch a James Bond movie with her, she told me that she was too tired and she will do it later. This upset me, so I went into her room with my eyes visibly angry, I demanded she watch it with me. She just politely told me to stop and that I was acting rude. I stopped.

She approached me the next day requesting to watch with me, I told her I don't want to watch it anymore, then she forced me to watch with her! It makes me upset that she didn't accept my demand but forces me to accept hers.

i (f22) have a friend (f19) who i met a couple of months ago when i visited her father’s church. now, we are both christian and both followed each other online to keep in touch. the thing is, this girl ALWAYS posts stuff relating to roe v. wade/being extremely pro-life/talking about how women who have gotten abortions are demons/etc. but, i just…don’t feel the same way. i think it sucks that roe v. wade got overturned and that so many women will have to go through horrible things not just with abortions, but also with the risk of birth control/contraceptives/IVF being banned as well. i would never get an abortion myself, but i’m not gonna judge someone who has.

today, my friend posted the presidential debate and how kamala harris thinks it’s bad that women’s rights are at risk. my friend made a comment and said “how stupid. abortion/IVF need to be banned nationwide.” in case you couldn’t tell, she is republican. i, on the other hand, am independent. i can see eye to eye with dems + reps, but i don’t like talking about politics because it can stir a lot of arguments. anyway, this is the upteenth time that she has posted something like this, and i wanted to say something about it, so i did:

“hey, i love you and i understand why you feel the way you feel, but i’m not gonna lie, the stuff you post about abortion is making me uncomfortable… no offense, but i feel like we kinda get the point? i’m not saying i’m for abortion, but i have a couple of friends who have gotten one due to heartbreaking circumstances and awful violations. i wouldn’t push them away or make them feel bad (not that you do), because the Lord’s grace is still available at hand and He offers us forgiveness and freedom within our past. personally, i just feel like it’s not our place, as christians/people of God, to just pound and pound on a subject that’s sensitive to a lot of people. we don’t know what they’re going through, and i feel like instead we should just point them to the gospel + Jesus with loving + open arms, because that is the only way these individuals will find peace and solitude in this world. that’s all we can do. i hope this isn’t offensive, i just wanted to share my opinion is all. 🫶🏼”

that was an hour ago. i just checked my messages. it turns out, she read my message and also blocked me. AITAH for voicing my opinion when she’s the one who put it out there to begin with? it doesn’t make sense to me as to why she would want to dish it out when she clearly can’t take it. it makes me uncomfortable when abortion is literally ALL she talks about. i’m talking every single DAY, i just wanted to put my foot down. sure, i am a christian, but i also try to give people the benefit of the doubt. to be sensitive to their feelings/emotions. i never want to judge/hate people for the choices they’ve made because that’s just not the kind of person i am. and quite frankly, Jesus Christ wouldn’t do that either. part of me feels REALLY bad, so i just want a second opinion.

Hi, this is the first time I’ve used this app, so I created the acc today. No, it’s not just made up, this actually happened to me. Before anyone says anything, I’ll be 14 in 2 hours. This happened a long time ago. I’ve been in cheer for 8 years. My aunt was my coach for one year and my cousin, who is exactly 10 months older than me, was also on the team. My aunt had yelled at me one day that I need to “respect” my elders, referring to her daughter. Who again, is 10 months older than me… we were like 9 at the time. So after that me and my aunt aren’t super close. But recently she has been bombarding my phone and telling me that I have to forgive her at some point in time. She has been cursing and screaming at me every time she gets, so would I be wrong if I didn’t want to be close with her again??

Hey guys as a male that’s just made social media for the first time not long ago at 34, I’m a bit new to all this

Ex GF cheated on me, then dumped me (as everything was my fault) before I found out, then I found out, 4 years of what I thought was fab up in flames. She’s been deleted off everything but is keeping tabs via friends or family accounts and keeps finding new ways to try and contact me

Petty, I know but cheating on me with multiple people, I want to annoy her on socials. More-so I want to show I’m flying and doing well without her toxic stuff flying round

WITBA employing this? Also as someone new to this any advice on how to peacock properly on Insta stories etc would be much appreciated. I despise dating apps and Insta seems the way to go

Okay, I have posted a similar post, but this one has more details and information. I want to clear up a few things. I talked to Sophie. Lydia does not have autism, but she is nonverbal. I had assumed she was autistic because she is nonverbal. Another thing—Lydia is not skittish. She’s usually very happy. She is 4 years old but will be turning 5 in two weeks.

I (16F) have a friend, Sophie (16F), who has a nonverbal little sister, Lydia (4F). I’ve been at Sophie’s house a few times. Whenever we watch a movie, we always have blankets and snacks. Sophie will always make Lydia come over, but she often seems scared and just freezes. Sophie taps the couch next to her and has Lydia sit down, putting a blanket over both of them. Lydia just sits there, almost dissociating. I say this because she seems to be staring off into space. Sophie wraps her arms around Lydia, and Lydia remains dissociative, like she’s not even present. Meanwhile, Sophie is just smiling.

We mainly go to Sophie’s house to watch movies because she has a massive TV (98 inches). For example, if we are doing homework, Sophie keeps Lydia close, often having her sit on her lap. Sophie smiles the whole time, but Lydia seems so defeated and depressed, like she isn’t fully there. If Sophie gives Lydia snacks, Lydia will barely eat them.

If Lydia does something Sophie doesn’t like, Sophie takes her to Lydia's room. I don’t hear anything, but Lydia always comes out crying. However, if Lydia does something Sophie likes, Sophie gives her so much praise and attention.

I’ve known Sophie for a long time, and she can be pretty manipulative at times, even if she doesn’t mean to be. I don’t know if I’m wrong for thinking that.

Hi first of all English is not my fist language so sorry for the mistakes... The story is weird for say the least I (16f) was in middle of a class when a not really close friend (16m), who I will call O, approached to talk to the person next to me, another friend (17m),let's call him C, in the middle of the conversation, in a joking way C ask O if it was true that O have pictures of his d*ck, in this point I was also part of the conversation an I didn't really believe that it was true so I just play along, the point it was that O really have this pick, and decide to showing from his phone in a way that was practically imposible for me to don't look at it (i was sitting in the middle of them), C laugh about it and said it was nasty, but in a amused way, i just stay silent, i didnt laugh but i didnt said anything about me founding this bad at all, I was kinda in shock, not gonna lie, I genuinely trout he didn't have that kind of picture of himself, anyways, after that in the recess I decided to share what happened to my close friends, and they told me that it was nasty, traumatic and really inappropriate, I guess that part of me was minimizing the problem until they told me that, it was like a change of perspective, I couldn't take it out of my mind so at the end of the school day I go to the psychologist of my school and i told him all that happend, without any name or description of the guy and he gave me until tomorrow to decide if i wanna said the name or let the problem there, the issue is that I now he want me to said it, and even one of my girls is telling me that i should do it, but I'm scare that this scaled and get O in serious problems, i know it was bad but maybe he did it because he think he can trust me? I don't know, to be honest we didn't even that close.... I'm kinda scary, if I talk is going to be obvious it was me how speak out, I need advise, should I exposed he??

I’ve been friends with my roommate for 10 years and have lived with them for 2. I feel like I’ve tried everything. I offered to take turns cleaning every week, that didn’t work. I tried assigning our own chores to do daily/weekly/monthly. They don’t do any of the chores still, even though they volunteered to do the assigned chores. If I tell them in that moment “Can you please sweep the floors” they will do it, but I don’t want to have to remind them every single week. I don’t even expect them to wash dishes, since every meal they eat is DoorDash or fast food.

Additionally, they take forever to pay me back when it comes to rent or utility bills. I handle all of the bills since they didn’t want to make an account or had the time to. I do get paid back eventually, but the gaps between payments put a huge strain on my wallet. If I text them to pay me back, they will in that moment, but again, I don’t want to have to do it every single time. I contribute 3x the amount of money for rent they do, so I have no idea why they take forever. I also work more hours, so I don’t know why they don’t have time to do chores.

Now here’s where I could be TA. They don’t have many people to rely on financially to live with. Their dad is homeless and abusive. Their mom lives in another city, so they would have to leave their job and all of their friends to do so. I’ve tried encouraging them to find jobs that make more money or sent them resources for free education to get a better paying job, but they’ve said they’re complacent where they’re at. Our lease isn’t up until a year from now, but I don’t want to wait last minute. What do I do?

My husband is a tire technician at a fairly large company. He was getting off work one night and one of his coworkers, we’ll call her Emma was making normal conversation with him and his work best friend. All of a sudden, Emma says that he has homework. She told him, “go home and rub your wife’s belly. Ask your wife if the baby is bigger than you yet.” Talking about his penis. Keep in mind, this is the first time they ever talked or even met, so they don’t know each other enough to even think about joking like this. I’m tempted to go in there and say something because that is not okay. If he reports it, nothing gets done. He reported his manager for sexual assault (his manager ticked his shirt in and touched his butt) and nothing got done. This workplace is a complete shit show and I’m going to be glad when my husband gets out of there. More information about the shit show: The new manager told my husband he couldn’t bring food in unless he provides food for everyone. The same manager told him he is no longer allowed to use the computer because he “doesn’t clock out”. My husband clocks in and out at the time he is supposed to unless he has to stay late because he is the only tire technician and most days he doesn’t get a break because he is the only tire technician. If he isn’t clocking out where is his 80+ hours every week? Make that make sense. They are also basically denying him his raise for being there for a year because “corporate hasn’t sent the videos yet”. He had his 6 month videos as soon as he hit 3 months into the job.

I’m sorry if this is hard to follow, I basically went on a tangent.

Update #1: I appreciate all the great feedback. I will not go to his workplace. We are looking into a lawyer as well as a new job for him.

This may be a confusing post, I'm not sure how to really type it all out.

Throw away account because my family and friends have my main. Also, English is my first language, I just suck at it, so apologies for any mistakes.

I (25f) have not seen my father (50s? 60s?) in almost 20 years. I have spoken to him maybe a total of six or seven times over those years, and he's recently asked me to meet with him. Now, for reference, most of our interactions have ended with me crying. He moved out of state when I was a kid and hasn't come back since, so all of our interactions were through text. It was always somehow my fault that we didn't have a relationship. My fault that he wasn't here for me. My fault that he ignored me for his perfect new family. This brings us to now. A few days ago, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize, and for some reason, I answered it. Mind you, I hadn't spoken to him at all for over seven years. He asked how I was, and I was just giving one word answers because... what the fuck? Why is he calling me?

As it would turn out, he's divorcing his wife and wants to move back here to finally "be the dad he always wanted to be." He asked for me to meet with him and help him find a house. He even told me I could pick out my own room. I'm married, own a house, and have a child of my own now, but I decided not to tell him that. He doesn't have any social media, just a Facebook account that he abandoned in 2015. I agreed to meet him because, although I'm a grown woman now, there are still times that I cry because sometimes you just need your dad. I never got to cry to him, or show him when I got an A, or have him watch any of my soccer games. He wasn't at my wedding, he doesn't even know he's a grandfather.

After thinking about it for a few days, I started regretting my decision to meet with him. What if he's doesn't show up? What if he gets mad at me for not telling him about my son or my husband? There are so many "what if"s and honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared to meet him and open that part of my life back up. I'm already half a mind to block him and carry on as I used to.

So, reddit, WIBTA if I cancelled meeting my dad next week?

I and a girl friend recently went on a girls trip to Florida, and with my husband's blessing spent an afternoon at a "natural" beach. We started off in regular swimwear and were approached by what turned out to be a very nice older guy who was not weird at all. We hung out with him and a couple other people who gravitated for us, all of whom were totally cool, and after some time we dressed down and enjoyed that aspect of the beach. All was fine, no one was weird, and even tho we are in our 20s they didn't act differently towards us at all.

On the way back i told my husband about it, and all of a sudden its an issue. Basically he thinks hanging around men in that context is like a step off from cheating or something. Its turned into a lingering issue, but i really think i did nothing wrong. AITA,

So I put in an offer for 11k over asking price. The neighborhood, yard, foundation are solid. The roof, furnace, and ac were all near their end of their life but looked solid. The fence was leaning and I was willing to immediately have to redo the posts. The house was purchased from the previous owner 4 years ago and besides landscaping nothing was remodeled recently.

Inspection happened and i found out there was a large crack in the bathtub, with water leaking into the basement. The pipes coming from the bathtub drain also had shipping tape wrapped around it and was leaking. The toilet in the basement had a glass bottle holding the bulb in place( removing the bottle causes the toilet to fill continuously).

My question is would i be an asshole if i backed out??

The home owner is willing to get a quote from a plumber to replace the bathtub and we could get a concession. My realtor made it seem like this a good thing, but now I’m just kind of infuriated? Who doesn’t put any care into their house (to blatant things) and just would put that on the market and try and get negotiate for more money? I don’t trust the previous owner and having that work passed onto me annoys.

If he actually does go through with the concessions, im technically getting a better house for the same offering price, so idk if im just morally being stubborn, or wanting to back out cause this dude is putting more manual labor on me- im also worried for any unforseen cost that the estimate to replace it would cost, and i clearly dont trust him to repair/ replace himself

AITA for not wanting to be my exes friend?

I will refer to myself 36F as TLP and my now ex 51M as GNC. We met in 2017 on Facebook when I was in a very abusive relationship. We started as just friends. I told him I was in a bad relationship and that was the last we talked it. Shortly after I finally left my then partner. GNC lived in Marysville CA and I lived here in Utah. We met up on June 25, 2017 in Elko NV. That was it. We clicked. It was as if we had know each other our whole lives. There was no awkward getting to know you stage just connection. 2 months later he moved here to Utah. He came with 5 kids and a granddaughter. I came with 2 girls. I accepted all of it and even helped raise his youngest 3. I got him a job, and a car that I bought for him. When we moved in together I paid the full deposit and first months rent by myself.

During all of this he was good. It was seriously the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. He bought me a switch for Christmas that first year. Took me out all the time, cuddled every night, and the sex was amazing. Things were good until we got his younest kids full time. He gave the switch he got me to his son. I maxed out every credit card to get his kids here and he promised he would help me pay them back. I took out loans for him. I was about to buy a house. He never helped pay anything. Now my credit is so bad.

He stopped kissing me before work. He stopped cuddling. He stopped caring about me health mental and physical health. I got pregnant in 2020. I wanted to start couples counseling as soon as I saw the changes in him. He refused. He no longer held me without asking. He stopped touching me. He stopped caring about how his actions hurt me. I'm not the tidiest. I will sometime leave my clothes on the floor of the bathroom or the floor in my room. That's the extent of it thankfully.

While I was pregnant I was supposed to be on bed rest but he would constantly tell me I still had to pay my half of the household expenses. So I had to drive door dash which may have done some damage to my son. He was born at 35 weeks weighing only 4lbs 8oz and was born with a club foot. He is also non verbal autistic. GNC was supposed to get a vasectomy but talked me into getting my tubes tied since I'm already having a c-section. I have been my sons only care giver since he spent 16 days in the NICU and came home on oxygen. His Dr's have never met GNC. I take him to every appointment.

I'm chronically I'll with Tachecardia, Fibromyalgia, Nuero Cardio Syncope, and a host of mental illness. If I say anything about me not feeling good he'd snidely remark " always something wrong with you". I've always made more money than him. During the whole year of 2022 he was sick. He missed the whole year of work. I handled everything. Including his medical care. When he had to get emergency life saving surgery I was the one the dressed and cleaned the incision, changed his colostomy bags, and made sure he had adequate food for him.

During that time he spent $9056 on 15 pairs of Jordan's, full Nike wardrobe, about 25 snapbacks, a North face coat, $4000 bike, 3 different backpacks. I'm wearing the same bras (that I have to mend at least once a year), clothes, and shoes for the last 5 years. When we moved in together he made sure his kids had beds and bed frames and all my girls got was mattresses on the floor. For Christmas his kids get $100-$200 each and my kids are lucky to get $75. The same goes for birthdays.

I was his favorite mental punching bag. Everything was my fault. He can't afford all the bills so that's my fault. He breaks something and it's my fault. He criticizes everything I do. I literally can't do anything right.

He took over the finances and has been keeping money from me since. He's taken $4600 in the last 2 months from me. It's financial abuse. He mentally and emotionally and financial abused me for the last 5 years. I tried to leave so many times but don't have the money to do so and he would guilt me into staying saying I can't do that to the kids.

He finally decided he didn't want me anymore. He said he doesn't love me anymore, and that I'm not the one. I planned our wedding twice and both times there was a major event so it didn't happen. Hes said I'm not the one for him, he loves me like a friend but he's not in live with me,we have nothing in common anymore. He said the reason he stayed with me so long is cuz he couldn't afford it without me. This man lead me on for 7 years and used me for money for 5 of them! Im not rich but I make ok money.

He is never home during the weekends when he knows it's the only time we can spend together. I offered couples counseling even after what he did to me. He again refused. I don't have anyone. Like not a single person. I have no friends as they both deleted themselves. I'm so alone. I thought he was my person. He was all I had! Everyday it gets harder and harder to talk myself out of ending it. I told this man everything. All my trauma that made me what I am today for him to then do exactly what was done to me and traumatize me more. There's not a single thing I kept from him.

What am I supposed to do?

How am I supposed to afford to start over yet again when he took all my money?!

And Let me be the example if he wanted to he would. Cuz when he wanted to he did. This pain hurts worst than getting shot, having an unmedicated C-section and having my wisdom teeth pulled with no pain meds. It hurts so bad I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I just wish I had someone Just one person to just talk to. So am I the asshole?

Gabriel Neil Carreno I hate you!

Edit: I did the math. He has taken $15, 297.26 since December. He has been on dating sites since November. We are in a lease until July 2025. I cannot move out as I don't have any money to move. No money for the first month's rent or deposit. I also don't have any furniture, or towels, or dishes, etc. I have been in therapy for the last 3 years and i am on medication for my mental health. I'm finally in a good place with that. I'm a better person now than when we met.

I (16F) have a friend, Sophie (16F), who has an autistic, non-verbal little sister, Lydia (4F). I went over to Sophie’s house to watch a movie. She gave me my own bowl of popcorn, a drink, and everything. We had blankets and were getting cozy when Lydia walked by. Sophie said, "Come here, Lydia." Lydia came over, but you could tell she was scared and just froze. Sophie said, "Sit right here for me," Tapping on the couch next to her. and put the blanket over both of them. Lydia was just sitting there, almost dissociating. The reason I say that is because she was staring off into space.

Sophie wrapped her arms around Lydia, who was lying on her chest, Sophie riding on her head holding one of Lydia’s hands, but Lydia wasn’t holding her hand back. Sophis's just smiling. She seemed so defeated, like she wasn’t fully there. Sophie told Lydia she could have some of the candy and popcorn. Lydia ate maybe 10 pieces of popcorn at most, though Sophie did get her to eat some Skittles.

After a while, Lydia was put to bed around 8:30, which is pretty standard for kids. Sophie and I continued watching the movie. Then I saw Sophie going to Lydia's room. They do not share a room. Afterward, I went home with a bad feeling about the whole thing. I’ve known Sophie for a long time, and she can be pretty manipulative at times, even without meaning to be. I don’t know if I’m wrong for thinking that.

So I gave birth to a son almost 12 weeks ago (via c-section) and my boyfriend is nagging me for sex.

For context my pregnancy was ok and I wasn’t extremely ill nor did I have any serious complications but since having the c-section I have had an infection, a hematoma and I now have stage 1 liver and kidney damage as well as deteriorating bone density levels so I’m really not feeling well. I’m extremely exhausted and feel like crap all the time but there’s no empathy or help with daily tasks from my boyfriend.

My boyfriend works 40hrs a week, gets up once a night, every night to feed and change the baby whilst I pump and he doesn’t do anything around the house unless I specifically nag him for days or get upset and overwhelmed with him.

He also does this thing where he gets passive aggressive over things he doesn’t want to do like going food shopping, taking me to the doctors, seeing the health visitor, looking after the baby for more than 3 hours and just anything that doesn’t involve his computer games. When he gets like this I feel like I can’t/shouldn’t ask anything of him ever again and just leave him to live his life.

Then here I am feeding and being screamed at by a baby almost 24/7 whilst being the manager of all appointments and bills and also being responsible for all the household chores whilst feeling like absolute crap.

I asked him today how he would feel if I had to go to hospital for treatment and he told me that he doesn’t want me to be ill because then he’ll have to look after the baby full time and be responsible for all the household chores.

I have tried explaining to him that I don’t even feel like a human being after going through pregnancy and childbirth, never mind feel like having any sort of sexual interaction. He says he understands and that we can wait but then still nags me for sex.

I felt bad for rejecting him so I gave in and had sex with him the other day. It was pretty painful and I’m still bleeding from it 3 days on but he doesn’t seem to care and even asked to do it again the following morning.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m not even a person to him, that I’m not appreciated. I feel like a personal calendar, maid and sex doll. I also feel like I can’t trust him to look after the baby or the house if I did become seriously ill.

So WIBTA if I finally blow up at him over everything?

 I (14f) and my dad (38m) were on a vacation to Galveston, Texas, with my two brothers (11) and (6), my dad's girlfriend, (39), and her twin children (9f and 9m).

 It started off chaotically, since my dad has always had a short temper, and five kids cannot be split evenly between two cars, and debating shotgun with my oldest brother. It was a six hour drive split into three parts and when we got there it was a relief. Fast forward to two days into the vacation at the beach home, and we were all at an expensive outdoor restaurant with a view of the beach. 
 This restaurant was very crowded, and as I mentioned earlier my dad has a short temperature. He was getting impatient after we'd been waiting half an hour to order food.

 Let me set the scene: my dad's girlfriend (let's call her Jane) was talking with her daughter, one of the nine year olds (I don't know what about.) All three boys were playing outdoor games featured at the restaurant, and I and my dad were reading at a table, me patiently, and him scoffing and asking for a waiter every few pages. He also took pauses to text on his phone; I'm assuming he was texting Jane.
 Every once in a while Jane would come to our table and my dad would ask me to move so they could have a private talk. This happened three or four times and once I came back to our table to see my dad with tears in his eyes. Of course, I asked what was wrong and he wouldn't tell me. The next time I left the table I brought my book and stayed away. 
 Now we're at the table where our food is being brought to us, and I haven't seen Jane or my dad speak again in front of me and the kids. Only privately, and with aggravated faces. I don't know what they were fighting about or if they were just complaining to each other, and It's not my business, so I didn't ask.

 Once our food was brought, my siblings (the twins included) and I were talking and laughing, having a good time, while my parents (for the sake of simplicity, I'm calling them that) were being passive aggressive towards each other over and over again. 
 For example, one of the twins would ask their mom if they could go to the bathroom, and she'd say "Sure, I'll take you there, because I care about you," and giving a pointed look to my dad. He'd respond by rolling his eyes and mumbling to himself. Then, one of the kids spilled their drink, and that did it for him. When Jane tried to help, he glared at her and told the kid (not speaking to her directly) that he didn't need her help, he would do it himself, because "he cared about their well-being."
 It went so far that when we left the restaurant, Jane pulled me aside and told me that I could sit shotgun and she'd sit in the back with the four other kids (for this drive we only took one car). I think it was so she wouldn't have to sit next to my dad, and he spent the drive silent and harshly spoke to any kid that started goofing off in the backseats.
 When we got home (to the beach house), things were relatively normal, me in my room, and the kids doing their thing, while my parents were in their room.
 Earlier in the day, Jane had promised to take the kids out for a ride in the golfcart.
 Late in the evening, I heard the slam of a door from my room and my dad came in, crying to me, and I immediately pulled him into a hug and paused my tv. He kept repeating "she's so mean to me, she's just like Amanda." 

 For context, Amanda (not her real name) is his ex-fiancé who was mentally abusive towards him and my brothers and I, and my ex-step-brother. She constantly picked fights out of nowhere and there was one instance I nearly called my mom to pick us up, or at least my brothers, to take us out of the house. 
 Jane is thoughtful, patient, and sees all sides to every argument. In no way is she like Amanda. 

 I let my dad calm down, then stupidly (I was very anxious at the time) asked him if he wanted me to talk to Jane. He nodded, but told me he didn't know where she was. 
 I looked all over the house for Jane, but couldn't find her, and couldn't find the kids either. Then I thought she might be taking them for a ride on the golf cart, like she promised, and I called her phone. We spoke for a minute, and I told her I needed to talk to her about whatever was going on. 
 When she got home, she sent the kids upstairs and she spoke with me. I told her that I didn't need to know what was happening, but I did need them to work it out. I repeated this over and over, and at this point I was crying. Then she hugged me and told me none of this was my job: she just asked me to make sure the kids stayed out of the way and she would work it out with my dad.

 So I went upstairs, collected myself, and then I heard yelling from my parents' room. I knew I had to keep the kids out of it, and so I gathered them and took them outside to see the frogs, because there were lots of frogs where we were.
 Eventually, they got bored, and since my parents were still fighting, I couldn't let them go in to get their iPads and other things they wanted, so I made a few trips in and out to bring them toys, a blanket, and a snack for my youngest brother.

 I took a minute to myself to let my feelings out, and overwhelmed, I called one of my friends, Polly (also not her real name). Polly told me it wasn't my job to mediate my parents, but I was right to help my siblings. Then she distracted me with some horrible dad jokes, like a good friend would. 

 Around ten minutes after this the girl twin, let's call her Allie, told me that she would start crying if she didn't get to go inside, because the mosquitoes were biting her, and she got the rest of the kids to agree with her, and the my oldest brother started asking me what was going on. I needed his help to wrangle the kids and so I told him what I knew, but he wasn't on my side and thought we should still go back inside. Reluctantly I said yes if they agreed to stay in my room in case the fight left the bedroom. 
 The yelling only got worse over this time. 

 The kids were fine in there with me for about fifteen minutes, and then I heard a bang, and my youngest brother, the six year old, started crying. I decided to check on my parents to make sure everyone was ok and no one was hurt. I didn't think anyone actually got violent, but by now I was lretty scared. However, I still don't know if this was a good idea. 
 I knocked on their door at first, and I heard Jane telling my dad to be quiet because I guess she'd realized we could hear them? It was really obvious, but oh well. I heard my dad yell at her again and I opened the door. 
 I saw them arguing across the bed and I screamed, unable to control myself, "stop fighting, you're scaring the freaking kids."

 Jane immediately stopped looking at my dad and looked at me. She walked with a fast pace towards my bedroom, not saying anything, and she opened the door and started comforting the twins and my brothers. My dad was still crying and so I sat on the bed with him and hugged him, gently rocking back and forth, as if he was a baby. It was like this silent for longer than I wanted it to be.
 Thinking I had to help still, I asked him if he wanted to know why I thought the argument escalated. 
 He nodded and I spoke. I told him about a story I'd been read in school one day when I was a kid, oddly enough about trash cans. I told him how everyone has a metaphorical trash can, and everytime something made them upset or mad, it would fill up their can. I told him without sympathy that he had a small temper and allowed his trash can to overflow: and how this was the case each time he yelled or unfairly punished any one of his kids, inckuding Jane's kids. I told him I thought he took out his anger on Jane today, and I told him that she wouldn't take his bullsh*t. So she fought back. And lastly I told him that she wasn't at all like Amanda, and that she was patient and kind and I knew she loved him, because underneath his anger problems my dad is thoughtful and opinionated and passionate.

 Jane came back in and they spoke calmly for a while, and I called Polly again to tell update her on what else had happened, and she told me I needed to relax and we watched Hamilton together over the phone. 
 My dad came into my room one more time to apologize and that was the end of the evening.

TLTR: My parents were fighting, scaring my siblings, and I yelled at them to stop and babied my dad when he asked me to be the mediator.

For context I (25m) have been taking care of my little sister (14f) since she was 10 when our parents died in a car accident. We live in New York. I’ve had an apartment for about 5 years now and she lives with me! I’m always either at school or work so don’t see her often because she does just about every extracurricular you can do as a freshman in High school. I’m so proud of her, she has always gotten incredibly good grades and she tries her best, but I can’t always make it to her plays, or her concerts, or her sports games, or her debates. I really try to but work has kept me busy. And since February I’ve been dating this girl(24) let’s call her Em. She was incredibly nice and she took an interest in my photography, which no one but my sister has done recently. When I was with her I genuinely forgot about everything else. The first time we had a problem was on my sister’s birthday. Em knew I had a younger sister- I would always talk about her. I mean she’s the only family I have, and I kind of see her as my daughter at this point.

But when I mentioned my sister Em would go quiet, I would always ask her what’s wrong but she would always just roll her eyes and say that “boys don’t understand a thing.” My sister has never had friends so when I told her about Em she had gotten really excited and told me that there would finally be another girl in the house. I had made a reservation at a restaurant my sister loved and I had invited Em. That’s how I had wanted to introduce them to each other. My sister actually had bought some makeup with her own money because she wanted to “impress her because she seemed cool” So we had gone to the restaurant and we were going to meet Em there, and when she showed up (30 minutes late) My sister just laughed it off and introduced herself. Em looked at my sister up at down and laughs. Me and my sister were confused but we had thought she was just laughing at the fact that she was late.

When my sister was going to order herself a burger (her favorite) Em cut her off and said that she should rethink that choice, she said that girls her age had to “look the part” don’t know what that meant. But seeing the look on my little sister’s face made me upset. My sister just laughed and nodded and ended up getting a salad. I really wanted to speak up but it was my sister’s birthday I didn’t want to spoil that. But when we had finished dinner I told Em that me and my sister were going to go straight home and do our birthday tradition (after dinner we get Hot chocolate and make blanket forts to watch movies in) Em got mad and said that I didn’t want her there. In a way she was right. I was still upset about what she had said to my sister. Small things like that kept happening as we hung out with my sister more and more. My sister was obviously getting distant with me, in a way she sort have always has been a loner, but it felt like she just couldn’t be around me and Em. Like I had said before my sister is pretty much home alone quite a lot when she’s not doing her extracurriculars.

She cooks and cleans for herself, and I’m glad she has learned those skills but I wish she didn’t have to. But I have to work and go to school and now I have a girlfriend. My sister is always pushing me to hang out with Em I think she’s noticed my attitude when Em is mad at me. But yeah Em is always going on to me about how weird me and my sister’s relationship is, about how we depend on each other too much. A while ago my sister had mentioned a boy to me while Em was around, and my sister has never mentioned anyone in her life like that so I got curious and a bit protective, but I didn’t want her not to be open about her feelings with me so I tired to be kind. When my sister had gone to her room to study me and Em were left on the table just talking, Em had said that I had acted weird about the boy and that if I didn’t want my sister to date a boy that I should just marry her. I got disgusted and a bit angry. I made a grossed out face and asked her what she meant. She said that it wasn’t natural for me to be so close to my sister, and that people might get the wrong idea. I kindly told her to leave and I went to say goodnight to my sister. About a week ago I had gotten off of work and I was exhausted I just wanted to sleep but when I opened the door I had caught Em yelling at my sister in the living room and my sister was just taking it, tears streaming down her face but she didn’t defend herself. And that got me really mad. So I had stepped in front of my sister and I asked Em what her problem was and she just yelled at me about how my sister was walking around in her running shorts and one of my old T-shirts. I looked at her confused and I told her she was crazy and to never speak to my sister that way.

Em pushed me making my sister flinch, I still don’t know why she would flinch like that. But I’ve been getting calls from Em and her friends and Family telling me that I’m a dick and that I’m weird for being so protective and close to my sister and for always putting her first instead of my girlfriend. I genuinely don’t think I am if anything I’ve been putting Em first instead of my sister which is unfair. But I still feel bad and I would like to know if I am the asshole.

Update- I have read everyone’s comments so thank you guys for helping. To give you a little more info me and Em met in February but we started dating in April- and My sisters birthday was in June, and the last of the stuff that happened was a month ago.I officially broke up with her about two weeks ago which is why I’ve been absolutely bombarded with messages from everyone she knows. Thank you all for caring for my little sister- I have talked to her about it and she has told me that Em has gotten really loud and aggressive with her a few times but she didn’t tell me because she thought I was happy. I got a couple people asking me why they had been together alone in the first place and the answer is that I had given Em a key for EMERGENCIES and I guess she used it to see if I was actually home? I have apologized to my sister and I have called off of work for a while to spend some time with her. To clarify a few things yes my sister doesn’t have any friends as much as I have encouraged her to- she mostly just sticks with me and my few friends- that’s why she was so excited to meet Em. My sister’s birthday was in June and that’s when they first met. But I had been dating Em since early April. I was hesitant to introduce them because it had always seemed to be just me and my sister and I wanted my sister to get used to the idea of someone else being in our little family. And now I feel extremely bad to have basically caused this. I am looking into affordable therapy for my sister, because I have been worried about her for a while now.

But I think the new friend she has made is actually doing her some good! Even tho they’ve only known each other for a little. She’s even asked if she can go over to his house a couple times. I’ve met his parents and the whole family seems very kind! But yeah she’s my baby sister I love her so much and I feel very guilty for allowing this to happen. But Em is definitely out of the picture. I’m going to block her and her friends and family on everything after I make this update- I should have done that sooner. Thank you guys for giving me your opinions that have genuinely helped me. I’m not gonna give my sob story about why I stayed with Em because it doesn’t matter, I was a coward and stuff like that is not good for my sister. So I will 300% be working on that.

Update 2: sorry about the formatting from the original upload. This is my first time posting on here but I’ve fixed it please let me know if I can do anything else to it. Also since a bunch of people are mentioning it- me and Em had only had sex a couple times. I’m not a very touchy person it just makes me uncomfortable and there weren’t many places to do stuff like that. She has three roommates and I didn’t want her over at mine to have sex because my sister was home when I was at the time. I cant tell you why I stayed with her because honestly I don’t know why. But what’s done is done and all I can do is try to make things better for my sister. But I have taken all of your suggestions! So thank you.

AITAH for how I rejected this woman

I'm going to preface this by saying that I've literally JUST broken up with my girlfriend of 4 years. OK, so I'm sat alone in a pub garden having a drink, honestly just to get out of my flat for an hour, not wanting to interact with anyone but not wanting to just sit in my thoughts.

After around half an hour, a woman I don't know comes over, and asks if she can take a seat and if I'm alone. I say sure, and we introduced ourselves. So we just start chatting, normal small talk stuff. She offers to buy me a drink, so I accept cos why not. As we talk, and the subject comes up, I mention that I'm very fresh out of a relationship. She asks a few questions, whether I think we'll get back together etc. And then tells me that I'm very handsome, which is a nice little ego boost at the moment to be honest. I'll add that she also reveals that her partner left her last year, and admits that she's had a string of casual encounters since and had struggled with the break up.

I can tell that she is getting pretty drunk, and she becomes more and more flirty and is making it clear that she has whatever interest in me. I'll be honest, especially considering how I feel at the moment, the attention is nice, but I don't want to be with anyone it for anything to happen, and I make that quite clear, She then asks if I'd like to come back to hers for a drink. I sort of laugh, and say that she shouldn't be taking strange men she just met home. I then say that I'm sorry, she's very nice but my break up is very fresh and I'm not ready to see anyone yet. She then says not even just a casual hook up? It'll be fun come on. And again invites me home. Again I say sorry, that I'm not ready to be with anyone else yet, and besides don't really do 1 night stands. At this, she laughs, and says she's never heard that from a man and asked me if I'm "a bit gay or something". This is where I might be the AH, I say to her no, I'm sure a lot of men you drunkenly invite home within an hour of meeting jump at the chance, and that's another reason I'm not interested in hooking up with you, you seem desperate considering we've just met and you won't take no for an answer. She calls me a prick, she's not surprised my gf broke up with me, and storms off.

So I might have been a bit harsh, but she wasn't accepting my no, and honestly the bit gay comment just irritated me. As if thats the only reason I wouldn't want to go home with her.

I run my own bakery. I spoke to a woman about a month ago that was wanting a cake for next weekend for a wedding. At first everything was fine until the last few days. She decided to book with me and I told her I need to know what her design, venue address, flavors, etc were. So when I called to confirm everything we had spoken about she completely flipped the size of the cake, doesn’t know what design she is wanting and isn’t comfortable paying me in full all at once. Which normally I have a client pay 50% upfront and then the rest the following week before the event. However since the wedding is so close I’m not going to chase this woman around after having so many issue with simple things.

Anyway, after all these conversations I still have not been able to finish a contract to send to her to even have her sign it. Nor have I been given any money. I’m at the point where this is too much of a hassle for me. Plus like I said before I have a feeling the payment is going to be an issue. She’s made several comments about me not showing up or running off with her money. I do several weddings a month. Her saying this really rubbed me the wrong way. So WIBTA if I told her to find someone else on such short notice?

My (20M) boyfriend "Carlan" (21M) has this best friend "church" (22M). They've known each other practically since birth and both of them come from pretty abusive homes. Carlan with his super religious homophobic parents and Church's drunk dad. They both ran away together for almost a year before they got put back with their families.

Weird thing is even though Church is straight it sometimes feels like it's them dating and I'm the 3rd wheel. Church is weirdly possessive over Carlan. He always wants to crash our dates. He absolutely hated when I finally convinced Carlan to move out and in with me. They'll hold each other or even cuddle sometimes. He's always inviting himself over or into our personsl time and being all touchy feely with Carlan knowing it makes me uncomfortable. He has a girlfriend but he only ever wants to be all over Carlan.

I went home with them last week cause Carlans dad is in the hospital. I ended up meeting some old friends of theirs while there. I found out they don't really talk to Carlan much anymore. Mainly because they'd get into fights with Church usually over the same stuff and how Church never wanted anyone else around Carlan and Carlan would choose church. I tried to talk to Carlan about it when we were alone and he tried to tell me it wasn't like that. He says Church has always protected him and I got angry and I said been a creepy possessive weirdo isnt protectecting. Now he's been mad at me and has been sleeping back at his own apartment with Church since this weekend. AITA?

I (18m) still live at home with my parents while I'm attending college. My older sister (30f) lives a little bit away from us, but she comes home from time to time. This year, during the spring, my sister was sexually assaulted by a man who she thought was a good friend. And in her room, she still keeps her tank top that she wore on the night of the assault, and she hasn't washed it or anything, so it's got all her sweat on it and some of her blood on it too. So it's a rather disgusting blight in my sister's room. I asked her why on Earth she keeps it around, and she confessed to me that she doesn't know why it's so important to her. Whenever my mother enters my sister's room and sees the tank top on the shelf, she just cries, and it is just heartbreaking.

It can't be mentally healthy for my sister to keep this reminder of that awful night in her own bedroom. I really just want to grab the tank top and throw it out in the public garbage container near our house. WIBTA if I do that?

Okay, I know this problem is going to be pretty uncommon but I really need some advice here as this had been going on for the past 4 and a half years.

I (F45) am a homesteader with a farm. Growing up, my father had a farm and after I finished college I followed in his footsteps by starting my own farm.

The first thing I planted was corn. After a year or two my initial field had expands significantly and it was no longer something I could manage all on my own along with my other responsibilities that come with being a farmer. Hence, I hired Jared (M29).

Jared's only job is to help me plant, water and harvest the corn in this specific field. I do not ask him to do anything else on the farm except maybe help me pick some apples in the fall because he is taller than me and I pay him well. I'm talking 85 dollars an hour (the average pay for his job in my state is around 18 bucks and I have always paid him more than that.) Jared has always been very supportive and I consider him a friend.

However around 4 and a half years ago I expanded my farm a decent amount and started another corn field on the opposite side of the property that is significantly smaller and a lot easier for me to manage. The first year, Jared started working on it but I told him not to worry about it and to focus on the bigger field. However ever since the new fields existence Jared has completely neglected the orgnial, bigger field and dumped the responsibility on me. I have talked to him about it and he told me I simply don't pay him enough to cover both fields. I told him not to worry about the newer field but he was very insistent that he would work that field instead.

This year, I decided to forgo the larger field all together as Jared will not look after it (even after I have given him a raise twice as he repeated that I don't pay him enough). I didn't want to do it per say but Jared won't manage it and it's too much for me (I mange close to every other job on the farm), hence why I hired him in the first place. He asked me about it recently and when I explained my reasoning he called me and I quote a "piss pot".

He said I just wasn't doing enough work to which I reminded him I managed practically everything on the farm. He got snarky with me and for a while I honestly considered firing him. But now I'm starting to wonder if the bigger field is too much work for him physically or something. I asked him about it and offered him more frequent breaks than his current ones (he has several breaks throughout the day) but he still insisted I was the problem here.

Now I'm starting to wonder if I really am. I don't think I'm in the wrong but am I the asshole for not managing the larger field? Am I not paying him enough? Advice appreciated.

I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I have a feeding tube because my esophagus is partially paralyzed. The feeding tube in question goes in through my nose. The reason I have it in my nose, as opposed to my stomach, is because it's a little easier to manage. There's this girl in my class named Jane (14F), and she's a bully. She would always make gestures towards her nose, or she would take her headphone cord and put it on her face like my feeding tube is on mine.

At first, I just ignored her. I thought she was curious about it, which is understandable since it's different, and it's normal to be weirded out by something you've never seen before. I'm always okay with people asking me questions because I know it's natural to be curious. So, I told her it’s a feeding tube and that if she was curious, she could ask me anything about it and I wouldn't be offended. But no, that wasn't the case—she was just being rude.

One day, I was talking to one of my friends at lunch when Jane came up behind me, grabbed my tube, and pulled it partially out. I don't even need to explain why that's dangerous. I immediately turned around and punched her as hard as I could. I ended up giving her a black eye, then kicked her in the stomach, which broke one of her ribs. Jane was on the floor crying when the security guard walked up to us and asked what had happened. I told them what she did.

I was taken to the principal's office, where I was lectured about how what I did was wrong. I don't really remember the lecture. The principal then said, "You have two options: we can either call your grandparents, make you apologize to the girl, and suspend you for two days, or we can suspend you for two weeks." I said, "Just suspend me for the two weeks."

When I got home, my grandparents were mad. I explained the situation to them, but I don't know what happened to Jane. I want to know if I went too far with breaking one of her ribs. I did get the tube figured out, and she didn't cause much damage. I just need an outside perspective on what happened.

Update I found out that Jane, got expelled. I'm gonna clear the air. My grandparents have fully been on my side. And Jane has also been made to apologize to me.